Online Dating: How to Select the Perfect Picture

With the colder weather and the holiday season approaching, there comes an increase of online dating profiles. Everyone is looking for someone to cuddle up with on a cold winter night, and for someone to bring to those amazing chalet parties. 

First impressions online are key, therefore your profile picture is a very important fixture of your profile; It is the #1 factor in having your profile selected. Every picture you post should be well thought out. You should have at least three pictures on your profile, but no more than five or six. Leave some things for your actually meeting. 

Picture #1: A close-up of your whole face. Try to find a good picture of yourself smiling and making eye contact with the viewer, then crop out everything else. For woman, a webcam shot photo is more successful than the average straight-on shot, but I only buy this for the under 25 scene. 

 Picture #2: A full body shot. It's important for who ever you are dating to know what they are getting in to. If you have big hips or long spider legs then show them off. There is nothing worse than you date being disappointed by their first visual impression. Be honest and upfront.

Picture #3 (-#5 if necessary): Wild card. Any other picture of you doing something you like, or with a different hair style. If you switch between straight and curly hair, have a picture of each on your profile. Again, honesty is what you're going for. 

Remember: 

• Avoid having the arm or side of the face of your previous lover in your shots. This is a turn off for everyone involved.
• Don't post pictures from 10, 5 years ago or even 3 years ago.
• Movember stache pics are a questionable choice (unless you looked amazing!)
• If you've only ever travelled once in your life, posting all your pictures from this trip paints an incorrect picture of your life. 
• Be diverse with your selections. 
• Blurry pictures are not going to help your cause

The Huffington Post's tip for successful profile pics is an interesting read as well. For both genders the top contexts are 1. Doing something interesting 2. Posing with an animal, and 3. A travel photo.

Whatever you do not post pictures where you are:

• Posing in a sexual nature, or with little clothing. This sends out the wrong idea to other serious daters. Slight cleavage will give you an edge though. 

• You are obviously under the influence, or where it's not clear who you are in the picture. Look a little bit responsible.

• Taking the picture in your mirror. Show some effort and be less creepy. Yikes! 

• Okay maybe not this much effort!

Take some time over the holidays and search for some great pictures on your hard drive. If there is nothing good in sight, take advantage of holiday parties and get togethers to have someone take a picture for you. Look Better Online has some great additional tips and resources to take a profile picture for you. 

Don't throw away a good first impression!

Online Dating Deconstructed: Which Site Is Best?

When I first decided to online date in 2009, I was young, pretty broke and went for  a site I'd heard about on the dance floor at Whisky Bar. It's name was POF, or Plenty of Fish.

1. Plenty of Fish: On POH there are a lot of attractive 20 year old men and a lot of creepy, creepy men, but it is free! Plenty of Fish is not my cup of tea. I've talked to many beautiful woman who were constantly messaged by creepy, creepy men hiding behind their computers looking for an easy hook-up or just to feel better about themselves. If you are looking for a man who will treat you well, and who is serious about dating, then it's a good sign if he has invested a little bit of money in the process. 

Amelia's advice: Stay away from Free dating sites! If a man uses "ur", "x-perienced" or has any spelling mistakes in his profile, stay away!



2. Eharmony. This is the site where I met most solid guys I went on first dates with. The problem is that it is not cheap. A one month's membership costs $60, three months is $120 ($40/mth), and a year's membership is $240. They recommend at least 3 months of surfing around and I completely agree. 

Now here is the awesome part. You never have to pay full price! Search for 'eHarmony promo codes' through Google, and I guarantee you will find a discount. I ended up buying three months for only $20. 

eHarmony uses the guided communication format which is a lot less intimidating than random searching. They will send you a few "matches" each day which comes with a few guy's profiles, Take a look at the whole profile, and if you're AT ALL interested, send them your first 5 pre-selected multiple choice questions. These are questions that you want the men to answer about themselves. Try to select questions based on why you're last relationships didn't work out, or based on what you know you need in a relationship. 

I was matched with a few guys who were interverts and I knew this was an issue for me (as an extreme extrovert). I asked the question, "how much time do you need to yourself", right off the bat. If they needed a lot "personal time" to themselves for quiet reflection, then I knew this was a deal breaker and I would close the match. It's very good to know yourself!

The beauty of eHarmony is that you can meet someone slowly through their 4 steps, or if you really like their profile you can skip everything and email them right away. I always felt that every guy I communicated with on eHarmony was serious about dating, and most likely had a decent job. Their site has some great tips of how to get started. 

The downfall is that after the matches run out in your city, you may not get a match for several days, or even a week. February seems to be their busy season and the summer is quiet. Doesn't everyone want someone warm to cuddle up to in the cold winter months? I had a couple of friends who said they were getting no matches at all during the summer months. 

3. Lavalife: The great thing about Lavalife, or the Lamp, is that woman do not need to pay for communication, but guys do! On this sight you can search for men based on a set of criteria, including height, weight, body type, key words, etc. If someone interests you put them on your hot list, send a smile, then wait for them to respond through a message. Most of the guys will respond unless they're not really using the site anymore. It does tell you when they were last online.

There are different ways for them the men to contact you such as email,and instant messaging, It is worth taking the time to figure out how to respond to both and where a new message is indicated. It confused me for a while. Don't respond if you don't want to. Some of the instant messaging guys can be creepy and sexual.

If you want to have more control you can upgrade to a paid membership, which enables you to send emails and instant messages, customize your online searches, see which members have searched for you, and view member videos. A one month membership costs $35 and a three months cost $60. There are few free communication months throughout the year (definitely February) though, so keep your eyes out. 

The profiles here are harder to create because you get a big space to write in and nothing to guide you. My recommendation is to look at a bunch of guys profiles,  see what appeals to you the most, then this style to write your own profile. I always like the 10 things about me approach. I'll post more about profiles later!

Amelia's advice: Try eHarmony if its your first time on the online scene and supplement with Lavalife. 

Online Dating Deconstructed: It's Just A Numbers Game

Back in 2009, I was single and ready to mingle. I was 26 years old and had been single for just over a year. This single year had definitely been the best year of my twenties. I had landed a contract job teaching math (which was a great pick up line at bars), I had just bought my first car, had laser eye surgery, I paid off my OSAP by living with my parents, then had a magical three months living in my Aunt and Uncle's house while they were in Florida. I watched every season of Nip Tuck during this time, and hosted some amazing girls nights.  Life was good, but I was ready to venture back into the awkward world of dating. 

The only problem was I didn't know where to meet any men!! My social circle was mainly limited to other single girls searching for love, and the only single man I even encountered at work was my older brother. My options were limited. I took my good friend Rochelle's advice and went online. I signed up for a profile on Plenty of Fish and I saw a profile of a guy my brother had previously tried to set me up with. I contacted him and we set a time for a first date. I liked him so we dated for over a year, had an exhausting break-up, and a year and a bit later I was right back where I started. 

The second time around I knew a little bit more about the online world and how to navigate. I made a profile on eHarmony, then went to Europe for three weeks. (Side Note: This is not helpful when trying to online date. You should be in the city you want to date in). Upon my return, I met the first guy I started to email then we started dating. He was funny, and we had a couple months together, then you guessed it: OVER!

The third time I around, I did some research and made an account on eHarmony and Lavalife. Going off some amazing advice I went along with the motto, "It's just a number's game". I knew I had to get out there, meet as many guys I could, and not put any pressure on any one guy to become my eventual husband. I had to stop dating the first guy I met just because he looked good on paper. 

After going on more first dates than I care to list (okay, it's only about 6 guys but this was during the month of January and going out in -30C weather while trying to still look presentable seemed like a lifetime), I met my darling boyfriend Erik. I knew I liked him immediately,  and wanted to see him again as soon as possible. We didn't play any games, and were soon, and still are, madly in love. 

Together we compiled some do's and don't of online dating. He had been in and out of the online world since 2008, and together we felt like we had seen it all. I will post a series of Online Dating Deconstructed posts, based on our joint experiences. First up...which site is best?